Are YOU breaking the law [without even knowing it]?

It's not every day you aim a .25-caliber semi-automatic pistol at the temple of your lover's wife and fire away — as Amy Fisher, a.k.a. the "Long Island Lolita," did to Mary Jo Buttafuoco back in 1992.

But chances are you're violating the law on a daily basis without realizing it.

Exhibit A has set out to determine the more commonly committed, yet little-known, offenses that otherwise law-abiding citizens of Massachusetts are guilty of day in and day out.

 

COPYRIGHT

(17 U.S.C., §§101-105)

"You'd have to be living under a rock not to know that it is against the law to download music without paying for it," says Jason C. Kravitz, an intellectual property attorney in Boston.

But there are plenty of other copyright violations committed on a daily basis — either through ignorance or blatant disregard.

That Dilbert cartoon innocently used in the PowerPoint presentation to your bored, robotic co-workers? Illegal.

That informative magazine story photocopied and distributed around the office? Illegal.

That annoying song played over the phone while your customers are on hold? Ditto.

That episode of "The Office" you downloaded for free last week? You guessed it.

"It's absolutely copyright infringement to be downloading an episode of ‘24' or an episode of ‘Lost,'" warns Kravitz. "Somebody owns that television show."

Even though these violations may seem harmless, Kravitz says the punishment is a high price to pay for saving a few bucks — up to $150,000 for each infringement under the Copyright Act.

"It's a pretty stiff penalty for saving 30 or 40 bucks in downloads," he notes.

And if companies see themselves as immune to these rules, they had better think again.

Waltham intellectual property lawyer Kirk Teska says that businesses are often bagged when a disgruntled former employee rats to the Copyright Clearance Center. "The CCC will come after you if they learn of that behavior," he warns.

 

SPITTING

(G.L.c. 270, §14)

"Whoever expectorates or spits upon any public sidewalk, or upon any place used exclusively or principally by pedestrians, or, except in receptacles provided for the purpose … shall be punished by a fine of not more than twenty dollars."

Although there are efforts under way to repeal the law against spitting, because of the ban's supposed archaic roots, wouldn't it be nice if the entire City of Boston weren't a mucus minefield? Only local hopscotch champions can make their way through Downtown Crossing without ending up glued to a sidewalk.

 

AGRICULTURE

(G.L.c. 128, §21)

Dick and Jane are approaching the Mass. Pike tolls when suddenly panic strikes. "Oh my God! (See law on blasphemy, at right.) Jane, hide that thing. Hurry up!"

"Dick, I'm trying. But I think they can smell it."

"OK, OK. Just act normal, Jane. Act normal!"

As the police officer approaches, Jane realizes that several green leaves are poking out from the console. And, BAM! They're busted.

Likely broken every day by upstanding citizens and moving companies alike, a state law makes it illegal to transport house plants across state lines without inspection, according to the Executive Office of Environmental Affairs.

"Plants crossing state lines are required to have phyto-sanitary inspection once they arrive in [Massachusetts] to make sure they're disease-free," says Lisa Capone, press secretary at the EOEA.

This law also applies to fruits. The harshest penalty for violating the statute is the destruction of the plants or fruit.

Bet you really wanted that banana from Bangor.

 

ANIMAL CRUELTY

(G.L.c. 272, §77)

Poor Fluffy. One minute she's curled up in the back seat, and the next thing she knows — following an abrupt stop — she's dangling from the rear-view mirror like some cheap, scented pine tree.

Sure, it probably seems harmless to toss your cat or dog in the car, but it is actually illegal — unless they are restrained.

"That certainly might pose a hazard for the animal in the same way that a human is at risk if they're riding in a car and they're not wearing a seatbelt," says Peter E. Gollub, director of law enforcement at the Massachusetts Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals. "Also, with cats, it represents a possible safety hazard for other people because if the cat literally gets underfoot of the driver, they might interfere with the braking or maneuvering of the car."

It is also illegal to transport an animal in the back of a pickup, unless the space is enclosed or has rails of a certain height or the animal is caged or tethered in some way.

While typically these offenses result in only a $50 fine, they can also fall under a provision of the animal cruelty statute, thereby exposing the offender to a punishment of up to five years in state prison or two-and-one-half years in the House of Correction, a $2,500 fine, or both.

 

FIRE HAZARDS

State Fire Code 527 C.M.R.

Violate fire code regulations, and they could literally blow up in your face, according to State Fire Marshal Stephen Coan.

Many city dwellers like to pretend they're living in beach houses come June, but the reality is they're still in cramped quarters. Hence, gas grills on balconies above the first floor are prohibited.

"Propane gas is heavier than air and will sink or find its way to the lower level," explains Coan. "So, if you were to have a gas grill that would have a leak on an upper level, and you had anyone on a lower level that had an open flame … you could have ignition and cause an explosion."

And you know you're guilty of this next one, especially when the winter chill sets in: You run out of your car at the gas station, swipe your credit card, finagle your gas cap to hold the pump down, and then jump back into your toasty vehicle until the tank is full.

"There is a regulation … which prohibits the use of hold-open clips in self-serve," cautions Coan. "That also is a law that's fairly hard to enforce."

According to Steven P. Rourke, general counsel for the Department of Fire Services, violating these laws can earn you a citation of between $100 and $1,000.

Feel the burn.

 

BLASPHEMY

(G.L.c. 272, §36)

"Whoever willfully blasphemes the holy name of God … shall be punished by imprisonment in jail for not more than one year or by a fine of not more than three hundred dollars, and may also be bound to good behavior."

 Jesus Christ! Is this goddamn, silly thing still on the books? For the love of all that is good and pure. Being bound to good behavior does sound frightening — and a tad oxymoronic. Thank God this law is up for repeal.

 

 EXOTIC ANIMALS

(G.L.c. 131)

To the moron who recently attempted to sell his exotic animal on Craigslist: They're watching you.

While the state Division of Fisheries and Wildlife receives daily e-mails with inquiries about owning exotic wildlife, the officers suspect that far more people own these creatures illegally and just don't care.

"A lot of times it's ignorance," says Marion Larson, information and education biologist. "Other times these animals can be very available because many states do not have the same strict regulations that we have here in Massachusetts. And, of course, there's the good old Internet."

From rare fish and sugar gliders (flying squirrels) to skunks and Savannah cats, laws are on the books to regulate who can and cannot own these creatures.

"A lot of times these animals require care above and beyond your average domestic animal," says Larson. "We're not wanting to encourage pet trade and illegal animals."

Violation of these regulations is punishable by a fine of $20 to $50, imprisonment of up to 30 days, or both. If illegally possessed animals are injured or if they die, the penalties include the above, plus a fine of up to $2,000 per animal.

 

SEXUAL ACTIVITY

Fornication (G.L.c. 272, §18);

sodomy (G.L.c. 272, §34); adultery (G.L.c. 272, §14)

No surprise in this puritanical state of ours, outlawed sexual activities include everything from adultery to anal sex (otherwise known as "the abominable and detestable crime against nature") and even "resorting to restaurants or taverns for immoral purposes." Technically, thumb-sucking is the only permissible bodily act.

While many laws against sexual activity are being considered for repeal in Massachusetts, the state does not have the greatest reputation when it comes to the policing of bedrooms.

That 1913 law preventing people from other states from marrying here probably seemed pretty crazy, too — until former Gov. Mitt Romney found a clever use for it.

"If we had raised that six years ago, before the Goodridge [gay marriage] decision, I think people would have said, ‘That's nuts, and let's just take it off the books,'" says Rep. Byron Rushing of Boston, lead sponsor of a bill to repeal 20 archaic and unconstitutional Massachusetts laws.

"Because it was on the books, Governor Romney was able to resurrect it and to use it to prevent same-sex couples from coming to Massachusetts to get married," Rushing notes.

Concerned citizens can rest assured: The language in the sodomy law proposed for repeal excludes that bit about having sex with beasts. However, if you're resorting to taverns for immoral purposes, the definition of "beast" gets a little hazy after a few pints.

 

FIRE PREVENTION

(G.L.c. 148, §54)

There's a reason for the expression, "Where there's smoke, there's fire."

According to this state law, it is illegal for lighted cigarettes, cigars, matches, live ashes "or other flaming or glowing substance" to be dropped or thrown from a vehicle that is near forest land or open fields.

It is also at the discretion of the police to determine whether this constitutes littering, according to Erik Abell, spokesman for the Executive Office of Transportation.

The maximum penalty for this violation is $100 or 30 days in prison.

Too bad this law isn't applied liberally within the confines of Boston. Maybe the city wouldn't look like an ashtray at Foxwoods. {EXA}

 

Jeannie Greeley, formerly a reporter for Massachusetts Lawyers Weekly, is a Boston-based freelance writer. She can be reached at jeannieg@comcast.net.